Details Matter

I just finished installing Movable Type 4!

2009-08-24T17:12:25Z

Welcome to my new blog powered by Movable Type. This is the first post on my blog and was created for me automatically when I finished the installation process. But that is ok, because I will soon be creating posts of my own!

Wedding Invitation Details

2009-03-03T17:58:21Z

The wedding invitations you select will set the tone for your wedding weekend. As you search for the perfect wedding invitation ensemble, you will no doubt ponder details from the level of formality, paper and ink color to graphic design elements and typefaces. The method of printing is no less important; yet it is frequently a source of confusion. Therefore, we've provided a summary of the various methods commonly used:]]> Engraving -
Engraving is the most traditional printing style for formal invitations, if only because the engraving method has been around for what seems like forever. Engraving results in raised print that is pressed through so that a "bruise" can be felt on the back of the paper. It results in sharp crisp letters. It is also the most expensive form of printing.

Letterpress -
This is the centuries-old printing craft, in which blocks or plates of raised type are inked and pressed deep into the paper, giving words and images a grooved texture you can't help but touch.

Letterpress technology has come a long way since Gutenberg invented the press that started the entire printing revolution. While his press relied on carved wooden movable blocks of type, now any script or design can be scanned into or created on a computer to make a plate. However, much of the process is still done by hand. Despite its old-fashioned appeal, letterpress lends itself well to the many colors and whimsical patterns of today's invitations.
A soft, dense paper, such as 100-percent cotton rag, works best because it takes the impressions well. Letterpress is slightly less expensive than engraving; it does, however, cost more than the other kinds of printing listed below.

Thermography -
Thermography produces raised printing similar in appearance to engraving but using a different process. Heat-sensitive powder is added to the ink printed on the paper. As the printed piece comes off the press, it is subjected to an intense heat process. The powder and ink mixture dries to form raised letters, which are shinier and less fine than those that have been engraved. Since thermography does not use pressure to create the raised ink, there is no "bruise" that can be felt on the back of the paper. Thermography is dramatically less expensive than engraving.

Lithography -
Lithography (sometimes referred to as "offset" or "flat" printing) imprints lettering on paper with ink, but results in neither raised nor pressed-through lettering. This form of printing allows the most cost effective option when multiple and/or specific ink colors are desired. It is less costly than engraving, letterpress or thermography.

Handwritten -
Finally, let us not forget that all etiquette experts agree, the most personal of invitations are those that are extended in handwritten form. While it may not be practical for the largest of weddings, a personal invitation to your wedding may be handwritten on your stationery, no matter how formal the ceremony may be.

And they may or may not follow the standard wedding format. They can be personal letters to each of your guests telling them that you are getting married and what the specifics are. The formality of the wording of your invitations depends on your closeness to the guest. Consequently, the wording of handwritten invitations is rarely identical.

When you care enough to tell it like it is!

2009-03-03T17:49:20Z

Over the last nine years, rarely does a day go by without at least one customer commenting "You've got the BEST selection of greeting cards in town!" We take that as the biggest compliment anyone could pay us, considering we're located in Hallmark's hometown and we do not carry greeting cards produced by any of the "big boys". We enjoy working with the independent greeting card companies we've nurtured relationship's with over nearly a decade. We take the time to read and select greeting cards from each line. So in effect, we have pre-screened our card selection and tailored it to fit our customers.]]> On a buying trip not too long ago, we stumbled on a new line of cards we found very funny from "Bald Guy Greetings." As the owners of the greeting card company explain it, "the idea behind Bald Guy Greetings is to offer the greeting card buyer a funny card that they actually find funny. We have nothing against sappy, overly sentimental cards In fact, we love it when our grandmothers give us one. But, we don't want to have to look someone in the eye after handing them a card with pastel flowers on the front and a poem about a hummingbird inside. We want to give someone a card that looks and sounds like it's coming from us."

And that's exactly what Bald Guy Greetings is. A refreshingly honest, sometimes brutal, always sarcastic, but nevertheless very caring card.

It all started when Ian Kalman wrote a message on a birthday cake for his good friend. The message on the cake read, "35 years old! If this were the 1700's, you'd be dead!" Much to Ian's delight, everyone laughed. That evening, someone mentioned to Ian that the message he wrote would be a funny greeting card and the first glimmer of what would one day be "Bald Guy Greetings" shined.

Although the words on a blank page were brilliant enough, Ian quickly realized these cards needed a design element. Ian knew exactly where to turn - to his long time friend and artist, Sean Farrell. Sean's off-the-wall sketches on the front of these cards are what make them truly unique and difficult for other companies to "rip-off."

If you've ever commented how hard it is to find cards that really encompass what you want to say...or not say in some cases, Bald Guy Greeting Cards bridges that gap; perfect for the person in your life with a deliciously dark sense of humor.

The line includes a slew of birthday, get well, apology, anniversary and relationship cards, all with some kind of eloquent insult or back-handed compliment, as well as the first "You're Welcome" card we've ever seen.

When a co-worker gets dumped by her "perfect" beau, you'd hate to gloat. But since you've heard about the dude every day for three years, six months, and twelve days, you could express your sentiments with one of their cards like this: "Sorry to hear about your breakup" (outside), "but if it helps, I always thought he was an asshole, anyway. In fact, we used to make fun of you for dating him" (inside).

Other favorites include:

"I'm sorry" (outside), "I still think it's your fault, but they don't make a card that says that." (inside).
"You're a hard person to shop for." (outside), "And that's a huge part of why I didn't get you anything. --Happy Birthday, though." (inside)
"I'm sorry I missed your birthday" (outside), "It must have been horrible without me" (inside)
"Congratulations, you two" (outside), "Regardless of what everyone says, I don't think either of you settled." (inside)

Sign your name or send these cards anonymously; but don't deny you already have a list of potential recipients. We did! And that's why we're a huge fan of Bald Guy Greetings - a card company that tells it like it is.

Ask Social Grace: Requesting cash in lieu of gifts

2009-03-03T17:37:38Z

Social Grace gets hit with a question that seems to be coming up more and more frequently. Is it a disturbing new trend or just an increasingly awkward and somewhat presumptuous view of social customs by today's generation?

Dear Social Grace,

My fiancé and I are in our late thirties and have never been married. We are fortunate that both sets of parents are still alive, but with their limited retirement incomes, we have decided to pay for the wedding ourselves. We are excited to share this wonderful occasion with our large group of friends, but we had no idea the cost of the reception was going to be so high. We do not want to hurt anyone's feelings by leaving some friends off the guest list, while including others. However, we just cannot afford to have everyone at the reception.

Since we have everything we need to setup house together (in fact we have more than one house will comfortably hold), how can we politely put on the invitation that we would prefer cash contributions to help offset the cost of the wedding instead of some gift that we do not need.

Perplexed in Lenexa

]]> Dear Perplexed,

Wow! Unfortunately, this is not the first time that someone has asked this or a similar such question.

I was really stumped the first time it was asked, because I was so taken off guard. You see, a wedding invitation is requesting the presence of your guests to share in a joyous day in your lives; not unlike a request to join you at a holiday party, a baptism, or a back yard BBQ for that matter. A wedding invitation simply is NOT a request for gifts!

After having some time to ponder this question and others of its genre, it seems the easiest way to communicate your request would be to indicate on your reply card that "tickets" to your wedding and reception are $85 per person (or the actual cash contribution you are
looking for).

Obviously, this is said only in jest! But it makes my point. Are your guests truly being invited to share your joy on this special day? Or, are you assuming that due to the grandeur and magnificence of the event, they will be falling all over themselves to pay for the privilege of attending your wedding instead of doing something else with their time and money?

While you may be correct in assuming your guests have set aside something for your benefit, it is just flat out RUDE to even suggest to them how they should spend their hard-earned
money.

There simply is no polite way to ask for cash contributions to you or a charity. If you truly want NO GIFTS, you need to have your wedding party and family spread the word. Otherwise, you should set a reasonable budget for your wedding (both in dollars and guests) and live within that budget.

Got a question? Ask Social Grace at SocialGrace@DavidGregoryOnline.com

Who's coming to the wedding?

2009-02-16T20:59:48Z

Here's a helpful tip . . .

. . . to make sure you know who is coming to your wedding.

It may seem like a trivial thing, but it amazes me how many guests fail to put their names on the reply card before they send it back. Sometimes people just forget, other times they simply are not aware that they need to provide that information on the card. No matter how well your guests know the nuances of social etiquette, it remains a simple fact - people lead very busy lives and in the rush to get everything done, details like this can slip through the cracks.

]]> One easy idea we have found over the years remains as valuable today as it did almost 9 years ago when we first opened. Alphabetize your guest list and then number the list. Next, lightly and discreetly pencil the number in a corner on the back of the reply card. Then as your reply cards come back to you, when someone inevitably forgets to include their name(s) on the card, you are saved the headache of trying to figure out who in the world it came from.

The chance of someone noticing your numbering system is low. But, if someone with the last name of Wilson happens to notice a 150 or some other high number on the back of their card, they would not think twice. However, if their last name were Allen and they saw a high number on the back of the card they might infer they were on a couples' "B" list or simply an "after thought". By alphabetizing your guest list before assigning the sequential numbers, you should minimize the possibility of any hurt feelings.

Another approach that has been used successfully is to use a combination of the first letter of the last name and a sequential number. This is especially useful for couples who have a guest list larger than their venue can accommodate, and who plan to send a second mailing based on the number of "regrets" they receive from their initial mailing. Now for this approach to work, the invitations need to be mailed out at least eight weeks in advance. This allows you time to start getting regrets, so your second wave can still be mailed four to six weeks before the wedding.

It doesn't matter who or how many you are inviting, our experience tells us that you're more likely than not, to have at least one reply card come back to you missing this vital information. By using this simple solution, you'll be able to check off one more thing from planning list without unnecessary last minute headaches and stress.

Trends We Saw At Market

2009-02-16T16:55:53Z

After our recent buying excursion, we thought folks would be interested in hearing our take on what we saw. We'll summarize our thoughts in three different categories --

Tailored styles, Soft styles and Kid styles.

]]> Tailored

We're still seeing this category using lots of warm, natural, earthy colors. Solids, stripes, checks and geometric designs seemed to dominate. Items that caught our eye were made from leather, polished stainles steel, aluminium and rubberized surfaces.

Soft

Colors ranged from soft pastels to glossy bright iridescents. Product selection contained photograph albums and journals which were richly embellished and decorated with floral embroidery on cotton or linen materials. Other items such as frames were adorned with faux semi-precious stones and faux ivory. Bright spotted designs and striped designs were abundant. Pearlized textured surfaces were seen throughout many of the products from papers to giftables.

Kids

Very strong bold colors dominated the products in this category. Items for boys seemed to harken back to the 1950s and evoked adventure and exploration. Dinosaurs, magicians, rockets and airplanes were dominate motifs on many products. Items for girls on the other hand seemed to be more in the style of the 1960s. Fantasy, film stars and flowers were the dominate motifs we saw used on the products geared towards girls.

After reflecting and absorbing all that we saw, we confident that our new Spring arrivals will not only satisfy your needs for Easter, Graduation, Mother's Day, and Father's Day but also for bridal showers and luncheons as well as Spring get togethers with family and friends. New product will begin arriving in the next few weeks so be sure to stop in to see all that is new.

Don't forget, we've moved to a new location in Mission. Our new space is a cozy tan cottage with plenty of off street parking. We're located just a half block south of Johnson Drive at 5923 Woodson in downtown Mission. we look forward to seeing you soon.

Ask Social Grace: Sending late Thank You Notes

2009-02-16T15:42:16Z

Social Grace ponders the impact hectic and busy schedules have on the lives of a newlywed couple and their ability to send correspondence to friends and relatives for the wedding gifts received.

Dear Social Grace,

After my fiancé and I returned from an extended honeymoon it was time for reality to set in as we both returned to the daily tasks that had piled up while we were away from our jobs. We have had to consolidate two households as well as get acclimated to a new routine together, and before long we realized that our lives had been so busy six months had passed and we had not had time to get any thank you notes written for our wedding gifts.

Now that so much time has passed, we thought we'd ask you if sending a note was even necessary now, and if so, when is a WRITTEN thank you note necessary?

Busy in Brookside

]]> Dear Busy,

It is NEVER too late to send a thoughtful note of thanks. Although it is a common "myth" that a newlywed couple has up to a year to write thank you notes for wedding gifts, this is absolutely not true.

Thank you notes should be written within three months of receiving the gift. That being said, since you did not get all of your notes completed during that time, it is NOT an excuse to fail to send a gracious note of thanks anyway. This is not just a tradition of the past. It is common courtesy so the gift giver knows your gift was received and appreciated.

Do not use "being busy" or "money being tight" as an excuse, your guests also have busy lives but somehow managed to find time to share some of their hard-earned cash to bestow a gift upon you and your husband.

As to the last part of your question - No written note is necessary only when NO gift was received!

Got a question? Ask Social Grace at SocialGrace@DavidGregoryOnline.com

What's Up With R.s.v.p. anyway?

2008-12-04T17:02:09Z

History of R.s.v.p., Response Cards, and Reply Cards.

Forms of etiquette have been around for centuries; however, they also have changed along the way. With that said, let's start with R.s.v.p. What does it mean? It is an abbreviation of the French phrase "Répondez s'il vous plaît", which simply means "please respond". Actually, once upon a time, people didn't need response cards. When they received a written invitation, they would R.s.v.p. on their own stationery, offering congratulations and whether or not they would be able to attend. (Though response cards are common these days, sending your reply on your own personalized stationery is still acceptable).

]]> Progress, progress, progress . . . with the invention of the telephone, it became customary to include a response card for formal invitations, and to ask people to R.s.v.p. by telephone for casual invitations.

Now that we have an understanding of "Répondez s'il vous plaît," how should a response card be worded? Are there proper etiquette guidelines for response card wording? Are there other ways for guests to R.s.v.p.?

Suggested Wording

First of all, just to put your mind at ease, there isn't a "correct" way of response card wording. Instead, there are suggestions that are more appropriate for a formal wedding, and those that would work best for a casual affair. There are guidelines for those who want control for a very tight guest list (who is and isn't invited). This is coupled with another topic..."how to address the inner (if applicable) and outer envelope".

The most common styles of R.s.v.p. or Response Card wording are:

The favor of a reply is requested by June 16, 2006.

M__________________________

____Accepts with pleasure

____Declines with regret

or

M_____________________________

will ______ attend

The blank line leading with the "M" is meant for your guest to fill in Ms., Mr., Mrs. or Mr. and Mrs., followed by their name. In the first option, they simply check off whether or not they can come. In the second option, your guest will R.s.v.p. in the affirmative by only writing their name and leaving the space in between "will" and "attend" blank. If they must decline, they will write "not" on the blank line. Although widely used, this option can be somewhat confusing for many of your guests.

More Casual and Fun Response Card Wordings

We look forward to celebrating with you.

Please reply by June 16, 2006

M___________________________

____ accepts _____ regrets

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

We have reserved two seats in your honor.

M___________________________

{ } Accepts with pleasure

{ } Declines with regret

Please respond by June 16, 2006

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Other options that could be included in the response card

To alleviate the problem of guests with poor hand writing or those who forget to include their name, number your guest list, then inconspicuously pencil the corresponding number on the back of each response card. Trust me; you'll be glad you did!

In order to get an exact number of attendees, you may wish to include this line "____ number attending." However, this could be risky if you want to have tight control of the guest count. Some guests will interpret this as an open invitation to bring additional guests; regardless of to whom you address the card. You can avoid these assumptions by writing "___ of ___ guest(s) will attend," and then pre-filling in the second blank with the number of people that you are inviting. Some may find this slightly distasteful, but it certainly does get the point across!

Generally, when you order your response cards, pre-addressed envelopes are included. All you need to do is add a postage stamp.

You may also wish to include a phone number, or email address. Just make sure that email isn't the only way to reply. Email is not an appropriate form for formal R.s.v.p.'s; neither are post card response cards.

If you are inviting a large number of families with children, you may wish to include separate lines reading:

Number Attending Ceremony _______

Number Attending Reception ______

(Be prepared though, some guests will expect and sometimes demand that
their children should attend regardless of your wishes. Refer to our
article "Bullying the Bride" for suggestions on how to address this
situation.)

When you are working with a stationery store, don't be afraid to ask questions or for explanations. Most will be more than willing to help you understand the dos and don'ts. If not, seek out another stationer who will be more willing to help. This is the type of service that will affirm the quality of work you can expect from those you have chosen to work with.

Pencil Us In

2008-12-03T23:51:12Z

Give advance notice with save-the-date cards.
Who -
Save-the-date cards are usually sent to out-of-town guests. But, when they are sent in lieu of an engagement announcement, consider sending them to everyone on your wedding guest list, even friends and family members who you already know will attend. And be sure to rely on common sense. If you're not absolutely certain you're going to invite someone to the wedding, don't send them a save-the-date notice.

]]> What -
While you shouldn't give every last detail, such as directions to the ceremony, you should provide the basics, like the wedding date and place. If you're having a destination wedding and people need to make airline reservations, or you're holding the affair in a hot spot where booking hotel rooms in advance is a good idea, provide more details. A reply card isn't necessary because you're not trying to elicit a response.

The wording should be something along the lines of: "Please save the date of Saturday, July 3rd, for the wedding of Melissa Greene and Daniel Sheridan in Santorini, Greece. Invitation to follow." If your wedding will be informal, your save-the-date cards can have a casual tone too. ("It's about time! After nearly a decade together, we're finally getting married! etc.")

When -
Place an order with your stationer as soon as you've set the basic wedding details, and send out the cards at least six months to a year in advance. Anything less than six months in advance is simply a waste of money, since your guests should be receiving the actual wedding invitation just a few weeks later. Keep in mind that it will take a few weeks to design and print your save-the-date cards.

Why -
The basic purpose of save-the-date cards is to let your guests know about your wedding far enough in advance so they can arrange their schedules and make the necessary travel plans. It's especially important if you're planning a destination wedding or if you're planning a holiday weekend wedding. You should also consider sending the cards if you'll be getting married between the middle of November and the beginning of the new year when everyone's social calendars tend to fill up quickly.

Where -
There is no such thing as a standard or typical save-the-date card. You're only limited by your own imagination and creativity. Therefore, you may want to work with an experienced stationer to develop something that will not only fit your budget, but will also convey your own unique personal style.

How -
Save-the-date cards can coordinate with your wedding invitation, or they can be a complete departure. Often when the wedding invitations will follow a more traditional and formal path, the save-the-date cards provide an opportunity to reflect a more casual or whimsical aspect of the couple's personality.

Summary
After all is said and done, simply keep in mind that there is no right or wrong in whether or not you should send a save-the-date card. If there is a need, by all means send them. Your guests will apperciate it! However, if you're on a budget, or your wedding date falls during a time when your guests' social calendars are not likely to be overbooked, save your money. Paper, printing, and postage all add up. And the money you save by not sending these cards can be redirected to an area more likely to create lasting memories - such as the photographer, the reception, etc.

How early should I send out my wedding invitations?

2008-10-27T16:01:39Z

Give your guests time to plan.
]]> Most couples mail their invitations four to eight weeks before the ceremony to allow out-of-town guests time to make travel arrangements. If your wedding falls on a holiday weekend, during the busy wedding months of May and June, between Thanksgiving and the beginning of the New Year, or is a destination wedding, you should consider sending out save-the-date cards a year to eight months in advance.